How did you meet my son? Are you having sex with my son? Are you using condoms? What is your HIV status? How old was your last boyfriend? And, finally, do you realize that I will tear you gay limb from gay limb if you hurt my gay kid? As for your son, OCD, tell him that you realize gay guys his age sometimes date older men because there aren't a lot of boys his own age to choose from. If you didn't already know that, now you do. And tell your son that this gay dude you know—that would be me, OCD—told you that something's usually wrong when a year-old is dating a teenager.
Something's usually wrong with the year-old. There are exceptions, of course, and maybe his boyfriend is exceptional—maybe he's not a jerk who pursues naive boys because gay men his own age can see through his shit—but the simple fact of his age requires that he be subjected to a higher degree of scrutiny than a first boyfriend who was closer to your son's own age. Finally, OCD, tell your son that you know he's an adult and free to date whomever he wants. But you're his dad and he has to hear you out—whether he wants to or not. Q I'm 16 and an openly gay boy in a very welcoming community.
My first boyfriend and I broke up recently. We'll be friends again, I'm sure, but now I don't even have a hint of any sort of anything on the horizon, and it's driving me insane. All the out gay guys here are nice, but most are sassy stereotypical caricature flamer types, and I'm not attracted to any of them. But those are the kind of people who are out at I just hate thinking I'm alone for the foreseeable future. I know the logical thing is for me to wait, but how am I supposed to wait? Is there any alternative?
Get out of the house and do shit, get books and read shit, volunteer for a political organization and change shit. You'll have more boys to choose from in a few years and you'll be a more interesting, more informed, more attractive guy thanks to all that doing, reading, and volunteering. Beat off in the interim, WASTED, remembering to vary your masturbatory routine left hand, right hand; firm grip, soft touch; with toys, without; lots of lube, just a drop; etc , and try to cultivate your own erotic imagination translation: I'm not telling you that you should wait until you're 20 to date.
But you'll find the next few years less aggravating if you take the long view and keep busy, all the while jerking it to your part's content. And who knows? You might meet a nice boy while you're out there doing shit. But some boys react to the pressures of being young, gay, and out by dialing it up to Which is to say: You might want to give 'em a little time. Q My year-old nephew, who is straight, was in a play last year.
Therefore, I love seeing bartenders, doormen, bar backs and managers excited about their jobs and performing them efficiently, and for the most part I've had pleasant interactions with them. But there is a handful of employed douchebags who truly believe that they own the venue where they are working, or even Halsted Street, for that matter. Oh, I'm sorry, but last I checked, you were just sitting people down for bottle service, not paying the rent for the place. These douchebags are the Halsted Street equivalent of the Pretend Fabulous, because they use their perceived fancy social scene and work environment as leverage to mistreat people.
Unfortunately, I suggest getting acquainted with these douchebags, because in 10 years they will be working at the exact same job.
Here's a look at some Gay Dating groups near Chicago.
The Grindr Geek: This douchebag is actually more of an addict but still a douchebag. He spends a lot of time on Adam4Adam, Manhunt, OKCupid, Craigslist and probably a few other startup social networking sites and mobile apps, but Grindr is his first choice. His familiarity with the guys of Boystown is strictly limited to their online profiles, and his longest, most intimate relationship lasted for about characters. There's no need to try to avoid this douchebag, because he spends all his time looking at his smartphone anyway.
The Mean Girl: This douchebag never has anything positive to say and hates on everyone and everything. Boystown is his high school, and he thinks he's Queen B. I'll bet everything that he was bullied in high school and his schoolmates never let him forget how different he was; it's a classic case of mistreating others because you were mistreated. He thinks it's cool and chic to shop at Armani Exchange and will oddly judge others based solely on their fashion labels. He's obsessed with being popular and will take pictures with hot guys just to show off his "popularity.
Avoid him at all costs. The Jim Crow Supporter: I'm sure all my fellow gay men of color have had unlucky run-ins with these douchebags. The Jim Crow Supporter thinks it's appropriate to tell racist jokes, has the tactless talent of insulting anyone who's not a white man and probably doesn't find the ideology of separate-but-equal problematic.
He doesn't think he's racist, because not only did he vote for Obama but his parents donate to the United Negro College Fund. Don't bother trying to explain the error of their ways to these simpletons; it would be like explaining trigonometry to a grapefruit. However, if you have the overarching need to engage one of these douchebags in debate and I understand that need , you'll have to overlook his less-than-stellar, backwoods pedigree.
Good luck on that one. The Gym Rat: The Gym Rat isn't a douchebag because he goes to the gym and is in great shape but because that's all he's about, and because for him that's all you should be about, too. They travel in packs and drink water and vodka with a lemon twist. Unlike the Mean Girl, he couldn't care less about which name brands you're wearing; he is much more concerned with what's underneath your clothes, which is indeed his only concern when it comes to you. Anything less than a gym membership at Equinox or David Barton will send him running for the hills.
If you can get past the bicep and strength workout talks, the Gym Rat might be a fun hookup. However, the loss of brain cells might knock you out of the mood.
Do stay in contact with him for that guest pass at David Barton, but that's as far as it should go. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.
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